Another Saturday night ...

Today is Saturday. My evening consisted of watching skating on tv, starting my group theory assignment, walking to campus to get a copy of my applied real analysis assignment, and practicing the material for my dance final at a studio at the gym. On my way home from the gym, it was clear that the majority of the people I passed by were heading to various bars. This caused me to wonder, which is sadder: The geeky manner in which I spent my Saturday night, or that everyone flocks to bars just because it's Saturday night?
My night was sad because I didn't need to work. My usual excuse that I have to much work to do just doesn't hold right now. I could do all my work tomorrow without a problem. Tonight, I was simply being my anti-social self. And I wonder why I don't have any friends.
On the other hand, there is something oh so pathetic about heading out to the bar just because it's Saturday night and you have to go out on Saturday night or you're like, totally, like, a loser. I'm all for going out for a celebration every once in a while (like at end of each term), but the idea of dressing like a whore and getting drunk every weekend is not appealing to me.
I suppose both options are pathetic in their own special way. But I chose my path a long time ago (though I suppose it chose me to a certain extent) and that's just the way it is.
You know, there really isn't any point to this post. Just an observation.

Ideas are bullet-proof

So in a rare occasion, I left my house for something other than class. No, it wasn't to buy cookies or to bug people at Perimeter. I actually did something relatively social. I went to a movie. With people. And not just Em and Jon. Goat and Max were there too. So why this momentous occasion? What could possible tear me away from the comfy couch and my free cable tv? I'll give you a few hints: Wachowski brothers, Hugo Weaving, and just so you know I'm not talking about the Matrix (since I have that at home so it would keep me on the couch, not tear me away from it), a bald Natalie Portman. That's right, V for Vendetta.
Now I've been just a tad bit excited about this movie. If you can't figure out why, smack yourself. That being said, I had a couple of concerns going into this one: The acting, and the Wachowski brothers. The acting was a concern because they slapped a mask on the awesome actor (Hugo Weaving) and left the movie in the hands of Natalie Portman. Now, the last thing I saw Natalie Portman in was Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. If you saw that movie, I should not have to explain any further. If you haven't seen the movie, well, good. That would mean I was not the last person on earth to see the Star Wars movies. My reason for concern regarding the Wachowski brothers was the same reason I was excited to see the movie. The Wachowski brothers are the guys behind the Matrix movies. So it's obvious why I'd be excited about another movie from these guys. But I was worried it would be like waiting for Weezer to do another album on par with Pinkerton.
Luckily, the Wachowski brothers didn't pull a Beverly Hills. V for Vendetta rocked my socks. Hugo Weaving's incredible acting ability was in no way hampered by the mask. If anything, the mask helped distance V from Smith (unlike in Lords of the Rings, where I feel compelled to finish all of Elrond's lines with "... Mr. Anderson"). All of V's speeches were Smith's-Why?-speech-in-Revolutions level of awesome and no one could carry those off like Hugo Weaving. And speaking of the writing, apparently, if you give Natalie Portman solid dialogue (unlike in Star Wars), she can really act. There were so many ways her character could have gone wrong (and taken the whole movie down with it) but she pulled it off. (And now I want to shave my head more than ever.)
Good acting, good dialogue ... clearly, not a Matrix mimic. But there was no mistaking that this movie was a Wachowski brothers’ movies. There was butt kicking, a little bit of bullet-time, black boots/capes, and multiple allusions. But they didn't just do the Matrix with a different setting. The Matrix was a mind trip, calling into question personal philosophy and reality itself. V for Vendetta was a dark, yet oddly humorous, political satire. The ideas of the movie are foreign to anyone who has read Orwell's 1984, but they twisted those ideas to make them obviously poignant in today's political climate.

In conclusion, that movie was definitely worth getting off my couch, getting dressed up (read: my shirt matched my zippy, as opposed to wearing Jon's old sweatshirt as per usual), leaving the house, and paying to see that movie (instead of just downloading it like we normally do) ... and that says a lot.

A fallen hero, a lesson learned

After much (way too much) anticipation (on my part anyway), Lisa Randall came to Waterloo. Not only is she a non-homely female physicist, but she is the most referenced physicist in the past 5 years. I wanted to see how she presented herself, both in public and technical talks. Given how successful she has been in physics, she must have some secret to how she does it. I wanted to know that secret. And of course, I also had fantasies of her, upon discovering my brilliance, becoming my life-long friend and guide through the crazy, male-dominated world of physics.

First, I attended her sold out public lecture that was part of a promotion tour for her new pop science book. It was very interesting, but what particularly impressed me was how she handled the oh-so-moronic audience questions. Question: "Last time physicists had their way, we got the atomic bomb. How do we know the black holes created in CERN's particle collider won't end up being the same kind of thing?" Answer: "Firstly, I'd just like to say ... nice hat. The black holes being created are small and ... " [a far more reasonable explanation than the question deserved.] After the lecture, Lee invited Jon and I to lunch the next day so we could meet Lisa Randall before her technical talk.

So Jon and I joined Lee and a few researchers and post-docs at the Bistro. There was a seat being saved (between myself and Fotini) for none other than Lisa Randall (insert: *squeal* I'm going to meet her!). Lee introduced us and then she proceeded to not talk to anyone at the table aside from Lee (and a bit to Fotini) for the rest of lunch. They talked about one guy from Harvard, writing books, and how she had been travelling so much and was worried about catching her flight later that afternoon since it had started to snow. Oh and she was, in my opinion, rude to the waiter. Ok so not quite the meeting I'd hoped for. So I resolved to ask her my questions after the talk.

She showed up late for her talk and then sped through it. For the similar reasons to why I'd admired how she'd dealt with questions the night before, I was disappointed with how she dealt with them at the technical talk. She was short and flippant, even with questions from John Moffat. When I approached her after the lecture, she just told me to email her because she didn't have time. So there was her secret. She dealt with everything by being curt, flippant...in short, a bitch. Some secret.

I emailed her anyway, not really expecting a reply. At least, not any time soon. But she did reply and within two days. And this was her email to me:

This will perhaps sound corny and not so useful but really the key thing is to have confidence and faith in yourself. This isn't to say that you don't want to work hard and listen but ultimately you have to believe that your'e smart and talented. If you're not sure, compare yourself to your colleagues and at least be convinced you are as good. You really want to be able to collaborate and argue and engage in the ideas--they are yours for the grasping.

Hope this helps-

Best, Lisa Randall


Apparently, there's more to that secret. I wanted a clear-cut answer, a plan of how to deal with being a female in physics. But of course, it's never that simple. She gave me the answer, but I think I already knew. I just wanted it to be simpler. It's the balancing act: between confidence and arrogance, truth and appearance. She's certainly not my newest bestest friend, but I'm pretty sure I learned more this way.